Seen and heard

Living on an island where the language is so colourful and descriptive, it's a far wonder that I love immersing myself in the conversations of those around me.
I know I have explained before that time goes by quicker when I'm standing in a queue, because of the funny discourse that others in the queue are having.
Now, when one of these "jokers" start up, they're basically involving everyone and  you are expected to contribute in any way, even if it is just to mediate when the topics and opinions get heated.
Any queue is game....the post office, land tax office, supermarket, lunch line, but most of all the bank queue.
A couple of days ago, I found myself standing in line at the bank waiting patiently like everyone else.  The tv in the lobby was on for viewing pleasure and to take one's mind away from the wait before approaching the teller.
A middle age gentleman started the ball rolling by questioning the lady behind me whether she had any children, to which she replied that she did. He further wanted to know if they were boys or girls, and she replied that she had boys. His next comment made me laugh.....
"You know," he said, "I'm a specialist for girls, so if you really want a girl child you should give me a chance."
The poor woman looked him over, and replied, "I have enough children to deal with."
He laughed and then said to me, "And what about you that laughing so sweet, do you have any children?"
Told him, I had one daughter and didn't want any more, to which he replied, "Oh dear, I'm the girl specialist, so I'll have to call my brother for you! He's the boy specialist."
I laughed again, but being my naughty self, I told him, "Sorry, my shop is shut and moved to Mexico. No more kids for me either."
We all laughed.
Don't interpret the above events as being rude in any way, it's just the way we converse here on the island, and it wasn't a serious conversation, so please don't be perturbed at his forthrightness. It was all fun.
We all continued chatting, extolling the finer points of both genders of children. 
The fact that younger women did not like being in the kitchen to cook a meal for their boyfriends, had the men in the queue in an uproar.  Quite a debatable point that ended up taking a series of twists and turns.  I made the point that mothers should teach their boys how to look after themselves by teaching them how to cook. They should also be able to sew a loose button on a shirt, so that the girls in their lives did not hold them to ransom for such mundane tasks.
Before we knew it, we were at the front of the queue and our transactions were being processed by the tellers.
Who needs a tv in the bank lobby when there are so many funny people around?

In the city the following day, as I was returning to where I had parked in the multi-storied carpark, I saw the attendant walking towards a car that seemed to be taking up more space than necessary. It was parked badly, taking up two spaces in the middle of the thoroughfare where it could easily be side swiped by another vehicle.
We always exchange pleasantries when we see each other, and he keeps a special eye on Beast while I'm away conducting my business.
"You see how this idiot park this car?" he asked, "I'm going to clamp them now."

Image borrowed from internet

Photo borrowed from wikipedia.org

Off he went with  a roll of POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS tape and a large orange wheel clamp.
I didn't stick around to see him do the deed, but I know that that driver had to be extremely surprised when they returned to their car.
Or....they may have tried this method out.

I love no-nonsense folks who actually do the job that they're being paid for.
Reminded me of the security guard that worked at the bank when I was there. There was a guy that would frequent the lobby harassing the customers every single day. The other guards would pretend not to see him, and then would probably ask him to leave, which he never did.
He was a PITA.
One day when the "real guard" tried to escort him out, he made a big fuss and came back inside the lobby making a nuisance of himself.
Mr. Real Guard went over and held him by the scruff of his shirt and literally tossed him through the big glass doors of the bank, where he landed on the steps outside totally stunned. We never saw him inside the bank ever again.
Doing the job you're being paid for......that's right.

And that my friends is the end of my seen and heard story for today.