Monday, 26 September 2016

The vengeful grasshopper

I decided to plant some lovely white bougainvillea in pots in the back garden a few months ago.

They were filling out so beautifully and the sprays of white flowers were gorgeous....I admired them daily.

Then to my horror one morning I saw that some pest had eaten the flowers during the night.

It was on...I had to find the critter that had done this.

Night after night after night I went looking for the critter.  No slug trails or any identifying traces could be found...nothing.
I threw a few slug/snail pellets into the pot, but caught nada.
One morning after breakfast I took a stroll outside and my goodness gracious that darn critter had now started on the leaves.
I knew it had to be a flying critter.

That night I staked out my poor plants and waited, but again nothing.
I turned those pots upside down, inside out , dug around in the soil checked under each leaf carefully and still I found nothing.
On Thursday last week I told my friend Dawn she could come by and take them for her garden before they were completely need to tell her twice, she came over immediately.
Would you believe that that very same night I heard an insect butting itself against my front door.  Brownie was on the patio and he was going crazy trying to catch whatever it was.
I peeped through the curtains and there was the BIGGEST brown grasshopper that I have ever seen in my life.
There he was flying against the glass door over and over as if he wanted to come in to do me harm.
He come to "pick a fight" with me...oh mercy what a thing.
BUP!!!  Why you move my dinner plants?  BUPP!! I come out tonight looking to get something to eat and the plants gone!!  BUPPP!!  BUPPP!!  You know how long I was feasting on them and laughing at you wid yuh torchlight at night trying to find me?  MEEE???  You want to find me?  BUP!! Come out here  if you is  a woman!!!  BUPP!!! BUPPP!! I guine show you who is boss! BUPP!! BUPPPPP!!!
I am sure he was probably throwing me a few cuss words too in between not suitable for this blog.
I thought for sure he would break the door if he continued this way.
Brownie had had enough. He took one spring and pounced on him after one of his landings, and bit his head off and BUP! that was the end of him.
Can you imagine the audacity?  A grasshopper coming to take revenge on me? For protecting what is mine? How vengeful could he be?  Just like some people.  They watch you work hard for what you have and then they come along and want to rob you of what's yours.
Ain't gonna happen on me and Brownie's watch....oh no way!
Now I have to find some new plants to put in those pots...something that is not on the buffet menu for pests and critters....wish me luck.


  1. I wish you luck!! I'm sorry but despite the seriousness of the grasshopper's misdemeanours I can't help smiling at the end result and the way you've portrayed it!

    1. GB I am finding that the insects and the critters have a lot more gumption these days.
      I sprayed a roach the other evening with insecticide (a full blast)..He had flown into the house around dusk know what it did...flew straight in my face!!
      What horror!!


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