A Paparazzi Story

I love sailing.........on the open seas or nearer to shore.....I love sailing.
A little motion sickness does creep in, but nothing that can't be handled with a few ginger drops.
When I was studying in the US Virgin Islands, I was always on a boat somewhere between the many cays and islets dropping anchor and enjoying many fun-filled days....after my studies of course!!
For my birthday a few years ago, I spent the day with my friends on a boat, sailing the blue waters off the west coast of the island. The boat trip was a birthday gift that I will always treasure.
It was a beautiful sunny Sunday, and my friends for that day included my seashore fishing buddies....
We took lots of food and drinks, and also some bait for the big fish that we intended to catch.
Even though it was early June, and the fishing season had already ended (*), we still felt that we had a chance of finding that elusive 100 pound marlin.
Our captain was an old time seafarer, and he told us that we had nothing to worry about, safety wise, since he knew all the waters around Barbados "like the back of his hand."
We clambered aboard, and settled into enjoying ourselves.  The pristine blue waters off the island lapping at the shore as we sailed along the coast, was a memory I'll never forget.
The fishing lines were set and "blessed" (May this line catch a BIG-ASS fish today) by one of the guys who had already consumed two rum and cokes before boarding.
Now Captain Bob was filled with stories, so the girls and I clambered up to the bridge, where he regaled us with his memoirs that kept us laughing till we cried.  We almost fell off the boat, we were cackling like a bunch of hens.......he was freaking HILARIOUS!!
He told us about his meandering ways, his two girlfriends who knew of each other, and who checked in with each other to find out what they were fixing for him to eat each day, his life of captaining several boats, and his James Bond experiences.
He told us he was hired once to take the family of one of our deceased high officials out to sea to scatter his ashes, and just as the urn was opened to perform the ceremony, the wind suddenly changed course, and blew all the ashes back into the boat almost blinding him.........
The story I liked best was the one he related about a paparazzi tracking down a story in Barbados.
Apparently he was hired to help spy on a celebrity athlete, who was married, but visiting the island with his girlfriend.  They were staying at the exclusive five star Sandy Lane Hotel away from prying eyes, or so they thought.
He recounted that the paparazzi had a BIG BIG BIG camera, and every time the guy would add another lens piece on, and then another and another and another until the camera was as long as ..............and he showed us with his arms spread as far apart as he could get them....."this long."
He said all he kept on hearing was............................................ .......Click.......Click......Click.....Click.......Click......Click......photos galore being taken.  All he could see from the boat were two matchstick figures on the beach, but when he looked into the camera, when invited to do so, he came face to face with the girlfriend in her polka dot bikini!!!   Now that was some camera.....
Captain Bob then had to speed back to port so that the guy could send off his tabloid photos quickly to his editor.  That was before the days of malicious cell phones and ipads.
After a laughter-filled morning, it was time to eat, and we invited the crew to chow down with us.
When lunch was over, we sailed further up the coast and stopped off at Sandy Lane Bay to enjoy a swim with the sea turtles.......some of my friends even swam to shore and played a friendly game of beach cricket.  I stayed on board to keep an eye on everything and continue chatting with Captain Bob, since I don't swim.....a bad experience of almost drowning as a child has never left me.
The sun was dropping lower over the horizon, and it was time to head back to shore.
We checked the lines yet again.....not even a nibble................nothing to show that we went fishing for the day.......not even a sprat.

It was an enjoyable day......a birthday that I will never forget.

"Fancy smancy" Paparazzi cameras

(*) The fishing season runs from December - April.  Many fish like  Wahoo, Dorado, White &Blue Marlin, Sailfish, Yellow & Black fin Tuna, Barracuda among others are available during the season.
Photo is not mine. From themetraders.com website