Monday, 26 November 2012


 "Mums" loved roses, especially red ones

This afternoon, I received the sad news that my mother-in-law had passed.
She was the most loving, caring, hard working, selfless, down-to-earth and laughter-filled person that I have ever known.
Even though her son and I were divorced many years ago, I still remained quite close to her, especially after my own mum died.
She was like  a mother to me, and that's why I called her "Mums".
We had a close bond that folks on the outside looking in could never fathom....."Isn't she your ex-mother-in-law" they would ask?
"No, she is my mother-in-law." " She will always be my mother-in-law."
It was always me that she wanted to accompany her to her doctor's visits. We always felt comfortable with each easy to enjoy each others company. No pretenses were necessary.
We went to church together, and also to other events where she would always introduce me to her friends as "my daughter-in-law", "one of the nice ones", and then she would start to laugh.
After her illness started to consume her, she was placed in an elderly hospice for her medical care.
That is how I ended up with her bow wow Brownie.
I had no idea that when I saw him looking into the dining room a few hours before lunch, when I repeatedly called his name, and he kept focused on something he was seeing there, but yet he just kept looking at the same spot, with his head on a side in a quizzical manner.
He was trance-like, and then he gave a slight bark, and advanced a bit, but then he just lied down and put his head on his paws.....I had no idea then that she was here saying goodbye.
I am going to miss her. I am going to miss talking and laughing with her.
I am going to miss all the goodies that she made, and encouraged me to eat.  "You eat like a bird," she would tell me laughing at me. A laugh that made her entire body shake, a true spirited laugh.
"Mums" you taught me a whole lot about being a true woman, just by being you.
Thank you for helping me to raise my daughter from a newborn to a young lady.
Thank you for always being there for me. 
Thank you for all the sage advice that you gave me over the years. I will always treasure it.
Thank you for being you. I love you. I'm going to miss you.


  1. I totally went through all the same emotions when I lost my father 2 years ago. It's often hard to forget the people whom we shared the bitterness and sweetness of life.

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    1. Hi Tim, thanks for stopping by.
      Sorry to hear about your Dad, but you are right in that we will always miss them and treasure them despite the good and bad times that were shared.

  2. Your words have brought tears to my eyes Virginia. It is a moving and beautiful tribute to Mums and your relationship with her. What touched my heart strings most though was the simple sentence that you have used and which my Mum used and which I have carried on using for those who are special in my life: "Thank you for being you."

  3. She was a dear old soul...I loved her totally for who she was...not who she could have been.


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